The 5 Love Languages:
To avoid such misunderstanding and to understand our partner better we should be aware of their love language.
The concept of love languages was developed by Dr.Gary Chapman from his years of experience in marriage counseling and linguistics.
The five love language described by Chapman-
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Acts of service
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
People who belong to this category of love languages like to hear acknowledgments and appreciations.
Saying words of affirmation such as “I love you” or “I am lucky to have you “, means more to them than receiving gifts.
Simple praise and appreciation make them feel loved. If you notice and compliment their looks or their achievements, they will definitely love it.
Tell them you care and love them instead of showing your love with actions. They like parents who can express their love and bold enough to tell them they are pretty. It is a plus point when you verbally tell your partner how much you love them.
People with Quality Time as their love language want to spend uninterrupted time together with their partners. In this period of time, they want undivided attention from their partners.
As partners grow older they become busy with their work and other responsibilities. If your partner feels most loved when they are spending quality time with you, try to take out some time from your busy schedule. Your partner will really appreciate and feel loved.
It doesn’t matter if you are spending time doing nothing. As long as they know that you are there and your attention is on them, they feel content and happy. Phones are not allowed.
Sharing stories and experiences mean a lot to them. Creating memories and special time together are on their top list. It can be simple as going for a walk or going out to eat cheap food.
Acts of service
People with this love language feel loved and taken care of when their partner helps them when life gets complicated. It can be simple tasks or chores which can ease their work and responsibilities.
“Action speaks louder than words”, fits them perfectly. Talk is cheap and action shows that you listen and care about them.
Pay attention to your partner’s needs and display vigilance by giving a helping hand. Do not wait for your partner to speak up if you notice they are in a tight spot. Keep an eye on her and act smartly.
Stepping up to help shows your partner that you are paying attention to her. They will trust you more on even the small details.
If your partner’s love language is Acts of Service tells them to let you know if they need help. Ask them directly. Keep in touch on what she is doing and help them if a difficult situation arises.
People whose love language is receiving gifts feel loved when they receive gifts. It is simple and straightforward.
This doesn’t mean that they are materialistic. Simple needs or little things are received with gratitude. Most of all they feel and they appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Gifts are signs that you think about them and you are remembered when they see your gifts. Special mementos from places can also take us back to a special moment in time. Partners can develop a deeper connection and strengthen their relationship with simple gifts.
If your partner belongs to this love language, surprise them with gifts. It is a simple gesture to show them affection.
Physical intimacy can help partners closer to each other. People with physical touch as their love language feel loved when they share a close intimacy with their partners.
Intimacy doesn’t have to be always sexual. It can be hugs, cuddles, or kisses. Physical intimacy is a powerful emotional connector for people whose love language is physical touch.
They value the feeling of warm cuddles or holding hands. Get close physically in public with your partner to show them that they are valued and wanted.
Getting physically close with our partner releases oxytocin or “love hormones” which makes us feel good. It also helps in relationship building. Individuals who felt love when their parents held and kissed them when they were young are likely to feel loved when their partners do the same.
How the concept of Love Language can be helpful in a relationship:
Note that the love language of an individual cannot be changed. Partners should compromise and adapt to each other’s differences. If you are not sure about your partner’s love language ask them directly. An idea about love language can aid us in expressing our love to our partner. If your partner wants words of affirmation remind them that you love them. Paying attention to your partner is a must. Stay vigilant and take some load off your partner’s work if they need help. Surprise your partner with gifts, go out for a walk without phones or stay warm enjoying each other’s touch.
The love language can create a beautiful relationship if both the partner compromise and understand each other.
This can be effective at the initial stage of a relationship when both the partner needs to feel loved. One language is set above the rest depending on our partner’s love language.
To make our partner feel loved and valued we should satisfy what he/she needs in a relationship. Being in a healthy relationship has a positive impact on our wellness and well-being.