Friends with ex:
Relationships can break up due to several reasons. After the heartbreaking moment, some partners might still want to keep in touch and stay as good friends. Strong feelings of attraction might still linger within them. They cannot fully accept the idea of completely letting go of their ex.
Remaining friends with an ex can be a demeaning demotion for the partner. The promise of friendship cannot go beyond getting married, sharing a bed, or a romantic relationship. We can hang-out, go to the movies or start a chit-chat. It is a trophy for the runners-up that eases the agony of separation. The ultimate prize, however, is kept for their romantic partner.
The partners drag a pile of regrets and unhappiness when they are spending time with their ex. Friends with an ex can be torturing. We are often reminded of the happy moments we shared with our partner. Which includes dates, kisses, hugs, laughter, and the incredible memories that we cherished when things were developing romantically.
These however turn into a regretful sorrow over the fact that once that was lost cannot be relieved again. One might try to revert it to how it was over a drink and fail miserably. The hopes of getting back again with an ex are crushed and it might leave someone in tears.
Your ex will get a good part of you by staying in the friend zone. They will take a scoop out of you by starting casual chit-chats, going to the movies, or hanging out together. They might come back to you for sympathy when their new relationship fails. Indirectly they get what they want from you.
Humans have the quality of being kind and good. You might provide a great service by staying as friends. But, a romantic relationship should not be replaced with friendship. It is best to keep a strong boundary and a good distance. Sometimes it is best to keep it in as a memory, to honor the good times you shared in the past with your ex.
If you are in a friendly relationship with your ex, it is generally more preferred to get out of the zone. Tell your ex that you don’t want to be friends anymore. You can reply to them with a note of uncertainty if they want to know why. The mystery surrounding your decision might make them curious. After a break-up, your ex might want to stay as friends for various reasons. They might want to hang out as friends in the absence of romance or to keep in touch from time to time.
Getting away from the friend zone will make your ex re-evaluate your relationship. It places you in a better position which lets him know that you are not attracted to him. You are setting an affable distance and a clear boundary.
The mysterious nature further doubts your ex that you might have another potential partner and he is not needed anymore. Your ex also sees that you are independent and you don’t need anything from him. This reverses the position between you and your partner.
Your ex will realize that he needs you more than you need him/her. Eventually, they might come back to you if they are holding back something because they hate the thought of losing you. This will resolve your anxiety. It is always better to take control and stop investing time that will bear no fruit in the future. At the end of the day, you decide how someone treats you. You can walk away and invest more time to build your future rather than being held back by your ex.