The pain of grief is inevitable to all of us. It is often felt in our day to day lives. Like when a friendship breaks or a person slips away from us. But the pain is most excruciating when someone we love passes away. Death is a natural and essential process of life. The realm of mortal beings consists of binary opposites. Where there is life, death follows. Religion has given us profound ways of what happens after death. For the living, it can be an agonizing experience.
How to cope with grief:
Coping with grief certainly should not be understood as a task. It is a process; a throbbing path that we have to walk alone. Even after overcoming grief sometimes we are reminded of the loss and we feel the pain. But that’s the normal cycle of progress. (Also read the 5 stages of grief)
- Normally we want to put a fence around ourselves and retreat to our shell. We will try to distance from others, but, it is likely that you won’t feel any better. Talk with your friends and families about your loss. Accept that you need their help. Helping someone in grief is difficult. They feel helpless and confused to comfort you. Tell them what you need. You might just need a company or someone who will listen. It will make your grief lighter.
- Pen down your emotions on paper. Write the story about your loss in a diary. Grief is a permanent scar we will be often reminded of from time to time. We cannot forget about it. Writing simply holds our emotions on paper and takes away the weight from the heart. Don’t listen to people who tell you to forget and move on.
- Accept the changes in your life. The absence of someone in our life leaves a part of our heart empty. Few pieces of our life shatter away into oblivion. Our life becomes incomplete and we feel a range of emotions. Accept the feeling of anger, sorrow, and loneliness.
- Take care of your health. Prolonged grief might lead us to the point of exhaustion. Therefore, it is important to eat healthy foods and get a good amount of rest. Keep on living and you will help a lot of people with your experiences. People will be thankful to you and you will feel happy and easier to cope with your loss.
- Find a hobby or alternatives to make yourself busy. Sad thoughts consume us from the inside. A glimpse of the past will put us in tears. We will deeply miss the person we loved the most. A shift from these thoughts will make us less miserable. Fill the void with something that puts a smile on your face.
- Religious Faith can provide solace to your grieving soul. Attend the church, meditate and find comfort in God through prayer and reading the Bible.
- Matthew 5:4. – “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”
- Psalm 23:4 – “Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.”
Grief does not have a time-interval of how long it might torment your soul and body. It depends on the individual, habits, and the way of coping with grief. Everyone takes a different time-interval to overcome grief.
In life, we make lots of mistakes and we procrastinate on what we ought to do today. The sudden demise of a loved one fills us with regrets. We recount the things we should have done or said.
If we know exactly when a person will die, we will say and do all the things until we are ready to let go of the person. We can cope with grief better if we have fewer regrets. But it doesn’t mean that we will not feel grief.
We will miss the moments we shared with our loved ones. The first things we did, the experience of growing together, those silly fights, and hearty laughter.
One day we will wake up and feel the whole atmosphere being hostile to us. We will notice that a part of our life that we felt was so insignificant is gone. And all that mattered to you every single day was right next to you.
You’ll think the world is cruel but it is the nature of the world. What is given is taken away from us and we need to adapt to the change.