Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. It is a connection between an abusive person and the other individual they abuse. Abuse is one of the most common trauma yet most ignored and neglected. Trauma bonding mostly occurs between relationships like couples, child and caretaker, child and parents, etc. People of different ages go through this trauma bonding but people around the age of 16-28 are the most affected ones.
Stockholm Syndrome is one type of trauma bonding. Such bonding can develop within a week or months, not everyone that experiences abuse develops trauma bonding.
It is a result of attachment and dependence. When one’s support is an abuser they take time to lose themselves from them because of emotional attachment, such as a baby support towards parents and caretakers for love and care.
Most often victims blame themselves for the abuse as a way of making sense of what is happening. They think that it’s the results of their action and tolerate the abuse and the trauma they go through. However such trauma develops and continues to attack as they grow up.
Source of trauma bonding can be of many types such as:
- Domestic abuse
- Child abuse
- Elder abuse
- Human trafficking
- Kidnapping, etc.
Signs that such trauma develops are because the victim tries to justify and reason the actions of the abuse or defend them because of the emotional attachment. They neglect the danger they are putting themselves in. Often they avoid such incidents not knowing that such incidents will haunt them and will create fear, poor mental health, lack of self-esteem and personal identity.
Trauma bonding in a relationship:
It is often easier for people outside of an abusive relationship to recognize the sign of an abusive relationship than people that are in an abusive relationship. The abuser’s manipulative positive attitude towards the victims often lead them to confusion and make it harder for them to leave the relationship.
Basically, they train them to stay and continue to give them the love they want, the abusers reinforce such positive behavior.
Sometimes a person may realize the abusive relationship that they are in but they conditioned themselves in forgiving them and try to reason with their behavior.
Many couples struggle because of this trauma they experience while they’re in a relationship. As for children and elderly people when they face abusive relationships they fail to identify the toxic relationship and such incidents cause them traumatic behavior. For example, when a child goes through abusive or domestic violence during their childhood they detach themselves from the society with a feeling of inferiority.
Some of the sign that you’re in trauma bonding are-
- You begin to question your existence and worth.
- Your views and likes are not considered important as compared to your partner.
- Extreme jealousy from the partner.
- Verbal abuse.
- Control over what you wear and act.
- Embarrassment or humiliation in front of co-workers, relatives, or friends.
- There won’t be peace and safety even when you’re with that person.
Such behaviors are a red flag in a relationship. One must take proper action and come out of it before it gets difficult to move on.
Traumatic bonding can have a terrible effect not only upon yourself but also on the relationship you have with others such as friends and relatives.
Trauma bonding limits you to form other relationships than the one you have with the abuser.
By understanding what is trauma bonding and what are its disadvantages, the risk that you are in, its addiction, mental abuse, and signs will help you to overcome and move on quicker than when you are already submerged into it.
If you think you are in trauma bonding it is better to seek help at the earliest and share about the signs you experience rather than reasoning with their behavior and forgiving them so that you can move on quickly in life.